So for today I'm going to talk about a date that Luna and I went on.
It ended badly and it was stupid to begin with. Because, you know, Luna and I just don't really do romantic dates and dinner and stuff. But we wanted to try it and we wanted to feel more 'normal,' so to speak and... well, that was all stupid. The moral of the story is that you should do what makes you happy. Especially if it makes the people you care about happy too. And with other common sense restrictions stop twisting my words around Luna.
Great, so I have now started with the end of the story. Well, what the hell, let's just keep going, shall we? I mean. I'm not going to continue to talk about what happened afterwards, I'm just... okay, I'll just. Tell the damn story already.
So Luna and I decided to go out on a date. She put her hair up. And like, have you seen Luna's mane? It went way up. It was like a glowing beehive. And I had to make mine all... pretty. I really didn't like it. Did you know my mane is apparently curly? Well, neither did I. It was awful.
I also had to wear a suit. I don't like suits. The only suits I have make me look extra douchey because they have those patches on the elbow that just scream 'look at me and give me attention I'm so cultured.' But Luna had to wear a dress. I mean a real dress. Black, long, flowing, all sparkly. Like her mane, sort of, but without the see-throughness and the starlight. Although Luna would have preferred both. Anyway, it was fantastic and yet also very horrible. Fantastic because, you know, she kept tripping over it and cursing and complaining. Horrible because she kept hitting me with things and blaming me and swearing she was going to choke me with it later.
But. We got ourselves together all the same, looked nice and went out to a nice little restaurant. We tried to order normal pony food, which meant greens and salad first, candy and pie and stuff afterwards. Luna doesn't usually eat a lot of normal pony food to begin with, so she. Picked and poked at things, and we stumbled over attempting to make normal conversation. I mean, I'm sure it was supposed to be romantic, but there were a dozen tables crammed into a small dining area, all lit by candles... and well. A lot of candles in one little place really takes the mood from 'romantic' to 'cult' pretty quickly.
And well. Luna and I... are not. Our discussion topics are not usually appreciated by other ponies, let's leave it at that. Likewise, we were a little... annoyed at the romantic jibber-jabber going on all around us and... well, you get the idea. Every time we started talking or laughing about something, we got weird looks. But all the cutesy talk around us... started to kind of get to us after a while, too. And yet we'd get the horrible looks whenever they caught Luna or me - usually Luna, I swear - staring. Because, you know, it's not like they were listening in on our conversations or anything.
Anyway. Well. By dessert, we were tired of the place. I've never seen Luna eat a dessert so fast without enjoying it. And, well, we almost made it out, you know? We just about made it out without anything horrible happening.
And then that poor, dumb idiot said on the way out: "You really didn't have to come in here and ruin the mood for the rest of us."
Now, normally Luna would just. Glare someone dumb enough to think that they're entitled to having everything around them absolutely perfect and within the sphere of their total control into the ground, or mock them into tears. I would probably help because I'm a follower and a big wimp. But with her mood and everything well...
A long story short, he ended up on the ground outside. He did not exit through the door. He also did not leave through the window.
Some walls are surprisingly thin.
Anyway, after that we had to run away because, you know. That's frowned upon in some establishments and Luna has this thing about refusing to pay for structural damages. All I can say is that I'm very glad so many ponies in Ponyville have insurance. On the other hoof, they probably do because of Luna so that's kind of a vicious cycle. I hear there's even "Night Insurance," specifically for helping deal with the damages caused by a certain little hurricane on four hooves.
Luna says she is not little and would like me to point out that sometimes she flies places, too. So she's not always on four hooves. As always I am soundly defeated by her logic.
So we ran to the library. Most ponies won't chase Luna more than a few blocks and won't bother chasing us into other ponies' homes. Twilight was surprised to see us, and scolded us both for being idiots. But after that, she helped us get rid of those stupid fancy clothes and we de-prettied Luna and then she gave us this adorable little card she made herself and a box of chocolates. Luna ate them all herself, of course, but the card is around here someplace.
And then we stayed up the whole night together. The three of us, talking and laughing... and I don't talk about it much, but... Twilight is very close to me and Luna. It's just... very natural between us, though. It's not something we think about or stress over - well, Twilight does - and we just... try and enjoy it when it comes, when the time is right for it.
We ended up spending a much nicer Hearts and Hooves inside the library with her, eating candy and making fun of each other and going over old stories, than Luna and I ever could have trying to do normal things, like normal couples. Luna wrestled me at one point and nearly broke one of my forelegs, and I harassed Twilight until she threw a dictionary at me, and generally we all acted like children, treated it like it was... any other day of the year. And yet someone it was still special, because it was the three of us together. It was special because we didn't have to do anything special for each other, apart from a silly little gift from Twilight and a poem they harassed me into reading.
And that's what Hearts and Hooves day is all about. The end.
No, Luna, it's not about sex. Not everything is, dearest.
~Scrivener Blooms
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