Thursday, 4 October 2012

Writing Interruptus

This is Scrivener Blooms. I am a buttocks. Luna is the best pony ever. I am the luckyest stallion ever to have married her. She is so beeutiful. She is also strong and much smarter then me. Also she is pretty. Also she is great. Also I should be nicer to her and make good food more. I will write the best poem ever about her. I love her sooooo much and

Okay. So I left my stupid thing unguarded and Luna got into it. Please ignore her. I still have a few notes I'd like to make on my How To Write series, but... I'll write that post tomorrow or the next day or something. For now, I think I'll write about...
Uh.
Luna demands a poem about her. Fine.

Once upon a time I thought I would marry someone nice,
But that was long before you and I broke the ice.
Once upon a time I thought I would marry someone gentle,
But instead I chose someone who likes to hit me with metal.

I used to think I'd marry someone who I could hold in my embrace,
Instead I have someone who likes to put me in my place.
I used to think I'd marry someone who was kind and soft and sensitive,
Instead I have someone who pummels demons into the results of laxative.

I used to dream that I would marry some total hottie,
I ended up with a mare with a very muscular body.
I used to dream that I would marry rich and live in luxury,
I ended up as an exile in a forest living in infamy.

I married the mare not of my dreams, but of my worst nightmares,
She fills me with terror, madness and all kinds of horrible fears.
I married the mare not of my fantasies, but of my trepidation,
She fills me with the deepest levels of incredible frustration.

And yet I wouldn't change it for the world, for any miracle or dream,
Because together me and her have long become a perfect team.
I love her all the more because of the way we jaggedly fit together,
And I plan to fear and loathe and love her for all and ever.

There's your poem Luna. I hope it makes you happy.
Now she wants me to write... no. I am not writing that. And no, if I won't write it I certainly won't do it. I. Oh great. I have to go now before Luna pokes a hole in me with her horn. Resuming normalcy... sometime. Probably never. ProDAMMIT NOT IN MY EAR.


~Scrivener Blooms

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